OZZY OSBOURNE — Under Cover (review)

OZZY OSBOURNE — Under Cover album cover Album · 2005 · Heavy Metal Buy this album from MMA partners
0.5/5 ·
siLLy puPPy
Every so often in a metal god’s career, someone gets a wild hair up their ass and release something that is equivalent to entering the torture chamber and in the case of the godfather of metal himself, OZZY OSBOURNE delivers his biggest turd in the punchbowl of his career with his ninth album titled UNDER COVER which as the title suggests is indeed an unbelievably unnecessary collection of fourteen gawd awful tracks that makes me wonder after which party the quality control crowd passed out at when this was given the ole a-OK for release.

To be honest, i am not a huge fan of cover albums period but there are rare examples of where a band can pull off a track or two (such as Voivod’s extraordinary Pink Floyd cover “Astronomy Domine” or Marilyn Manson’s version of the Eurythmics classic “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This.”) There are even a scant few albums out there such as Between The Buried And Me’s “The Anatomy Of” which effortlessly tackles a wide swath of musical achievements that leaves me in awe, however most of the time these types of projects make me cringe and in the case of OZZY OSBOURNE’s take on his favorite tracks of all time, cringe i do indeed.

Yes, it’s true that an artist should be allowed to pay respect to other’s in the biz that moves him / her to tears and what better way than a pointless, boring and unflattering cover album to tell them how much they mean to him / her. UNDER COVER is really one big batch of ridiculously misconceived and uninspired tributes finding OZZY tackling everyone from Joe Walsh and King Crimson to Buffalo Springfield, Mott The Hoople as well as The Beatles with the cream of the crop torturous moment achieved on John Lennon’s “Woman.” A number one flop on the cringe-o-meter for sure.

Despite the ridiculous nature of this piece of musical excrement, the production team and guest stars on board is quite impressive with even Ian Hunter collaborating on “All The Young Dudes” as well as Leslie West of Mountain joining in for a guitar solo on “Mississippi Queen.” There are tons of other guest stars as well including Joe Bonamassa and Gregg Bissonette to name a few. While this is the only album to find Alice In Chains guitarist Jerry Cantrell filling the shoes of the great Zakk Wylde, this is hardly something he will be bragging about when he’s telling tales of lore to his grandchildren.

This is definitely one of those fan collectibles only and since i am indeed an OZZY OSBOURNE fan who is a completist at least as far as studio albums are concerned, this one sits on my shelf and got listened to one time and never again, well until i pulled it down for this review and i have to admit that this is one of the most horrible experiences i could ever imagine subjecting onto unwilling ears and if there is a hell then this one is surely on perpetual replay for eternity. Sorry OZZY, i love ya, man but this is utter crap! Every track is AWFUL but hearing OZZY sing The Animals, John Lennon and Bessie Banks makes me want to hurl. I think i’m scarred for life :o
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