Vim Fuego Music is a form of art, and should inspire some sort of a reaction. Leonardo Da Vinci’s paintings still cause art lovers to go into rapture, more than five centuries after he created them. John Waters’ 1972 zero budget movie masterpiece, ‘Pink Flamingoes’, causes the same reaction for the opposite reason, adored the world over for being so bad it’s good. ‘Planets’, by Adema, never inspires anything more than indifference.

There is nothing adventurous on ‘Planets’ to set Adema apart from the pack of soundalike nu-metal imitators. There are no attempts at showing some musical virtuosity like System Of A Down or Mudvayne, no incorporation of eclectic influences like Static-X or Soulfly, no silly gimmicks like Slipknot or Coal Chamber, and there’s hardly even a hint of pop sensibilities like Linkin Park or Papa Roach. Adema seem to have found the formula, which they are euphemistically calling “modern rock”, and are sticking to it rigidly.

Even on a first airing, ‘Planets’ is predictable to the point where it’s mind numbingly obvious what’s coming next. From the song intro, to the harmonised vocals, to the staccato breakdown section, back to the vocals, sounding soulful and troubled this time, more staccato riffing, back to the chorus, then end. Repeat ad-fucking-nauseam. Sure, there’s a little variation between songs, but little is the operative word. There’s the odd acoustic passage, some grumbly bass, and some guitar effects here and there, but nothing strays far from the tried and true path.

Single “Tornado” breaks the mould somewhat with some great hook lines, and a more cheerful sound than most of the album, and would be perfect FM rock radio fodder as it is also the most sanitised song on the album. The title track has a lengthy building crescendo, but when it arrives, it’s like being hit with a six-inch high tsunami- all anticipation and no power. Little else even seems to lift recognisably above the horizon, as the album tails off to a flatline.

All four band members seem proficient enough, but the end result is like four session musicians in the studio with no guidance from a real artist. Their performances are all tradesman-like, quite capable at what they’re doing, but with no spark or inspiration.

It would be easy to do worse than Adema. Pick anything from Disturbed, Drowning Pool, Coal Chamber, Soulfly, Korn, or Limp Bizkit for evidence. However, it is also easy to do a lot better than ‘Planets’, and being least worst of a dull bunch is hardly something to be proud of.