Review

METALLICA St. Anger

Album · 2003 · Thrash Metal
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1/5 ·
Conor Fynes
'St. Anger' - Metallica (2/10)

Retarded cabbage patch kid music; nothing sums it up better. I'm glad this record is on the internet for me to review though, so I can warn anyone of potentially spending their money on this massacre to change their mind. QUICKLY.

In context, Metallica was in a bad position. The members hated each other, and were on the brink of breaking up. This 'antimatter chemistry' translated into a noisy mess, as can be seen in each of the awful tracks.

Admittedly, I wasn't even able to get through all the songs. I'm reviewing this album and haven't even listened to all of it! Put simply, I don't need to. The reason I couldn't get through it is because it's just too damn useless. It's like listening to a baby whine for hours on end while it gets it's pupils pierced by hot needles... Maybe worse.

I can't say I've ever been a huge Metallica fan, but at the very least (in past works) they've proven that they can make some damned good music. However, in this case, I'd rather listen to some Elementary school pop-rock band. At least there would be something there that could resemble music.

In terms of the actual music throughout the course of the album, it's very one-tracked. It all sounds the same. And while a 70 minute album generally sounds appealing, I might have even been tempted to give these retarded cabbage patch kids a 2 star rating if this was an 'experimental' EP, trying out a different sound than what they're used to. But no, this is a full fledged album. A full fledged, 11 song album without any highlights, without any sense of melody, or rhythm, or evocation of emotion.

The album does have some good parts, or 'highlights' if you will; the first three songs are at least listenable. 'St. Anger' is a memorable title track, and 'Frantic' gives a real jolt of energy which is good, even if that energy is brought forward through disgracefully bad production and performance.

If you like metal or prog, you're honestly better off getting a Rihanna album. At least you won't feel betrayed or dissapointed afterwards.

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Andyman1125 wrote:
more than 2 years ago
Elementary school pop-rock band... do I hear Hanson? haha

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