Doomster
I once had an interesting discussion with a Metallica elitist.
Elitist: Did you hear the new Metallica album with Lou Reed?
Me: Yeah, what about it?
Elitist: What about it? Are you kidding? It's terrible! It's the worst album of the decade for sure!
Me: Care to elaborate?
Elitist: They sold out!
Me: How did they sell out?
Elitist: Because they went for a cash grab with this new album, LuLu!
Me: Dwell on the aspects you dislike about it?
Elitist: Metallica cut their hair and stopped drinking beer, and then got together with an old guy who makes noise music! It's just a bunch of ambience and stuff! There's no RIFFS, man! It's just Metallica playing some shitty powerchords that sound like Black Sabbath over my grandpa lecturing me! HELL NO! BLACK SABBATH SUCKS! METALLICA ARE THE GOODEST METAL BAND IN THE WORLD!
Me: Metallica were experimenting. They weren't expecting anyone to like it. And you insulting Black Sabbath without acknowledging their importance? Wow, dude. Cutting their hair and reverting to sobreity does not make their music bad. Plenty of bands who look standard and don't do drugs can make amazing music. And there is plenty of riffs on this album. Did you even listen to it yet?
Elitist: No shit, dumbass! Everything about this album sucks! It has no redeeming qualities! The riffs are good, but go nowhere!
Me: You just said there are no riffs, then said that it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, then complemented the riffs. Time paradox, much...?
Elitist: Screw you man! What I mean is, there are no REAL riffs! I want heavy thrash riffs! I want Ride The Lightning and Kill 'Em All reycled over and over and over! I don't want them experimenting! They should make it a goal to please their fans!
Me: So you want Master Of Puppets Part II? You want absolutely nothing differentiating from the previous efforts whatsoever?
Elitist: Exactly!
Me: You're an idiot, then.
Elitist: The vocals also suck! I wanna hear James sing, and he almost never does! Lou Reed is just boring!
Me: I'm actually quite fond of his monotonous drawl. He adds atmosphere, uniqueness, and experimentation to this album. Something you obviously can't tolerate.
Elitist: Are you actually implying that you like this album?!
Me: Well, yes. It's not perfect, but it is good. Why is it good? Because I can appreciate musical evolution.
Elitist: Fuck you. *Walks off*
Me: When will people learn to appreciate a band going in a different direction? *Sigh*