SPERMBLOODSHIT — Gianni Morandi EP (review)

SPERMBLOODSHIT — Gianni Morandi EP album cover

EP · 2012 · Grindcore

4/5 · 2016-03-14
Vim Fuego

If you’re looking for something tasteful, refined and uplifting, look away now. What were you thinking looking up a band called SpermBloodShit? This so-called music is vile filth with no socially redeeming features, little musical validity, and is borderline defamatory.

If that sounds like your cup of tea, you’re a sick fuck, but come on in!

SpermBloodShit’s “Gianni Morandi” EP is named after an Italian pop star, who was Italy’s entrant in the ever-awful Eurovision Song Contest in 1970. His song "Occhi di Gagazza" ("Girl's Eyes") rated 8th out of 12 songs in the competition. So far, so boring you might say. Well, among Morandi’s other supposed claims to fame was a penchant for coprophagia (noun, pronounced [kop-ruh-fey-jee-uh, -juh], from “coprophagous” adjective 1. feeding on dung, as certain beetles.).

Yep, you read that right. Apparently Gianni liked feasting on faeces, eating excrement or devouring dung, however you want to put it. Doing so is meant to do wonders for the skin. These wild accusations can never be proved unless the man himself ever confessed to it, which of course he hasn’t. Hey, it’s not a crime, and only a borderline psychiatric illness. However, shit sticks, and since they’re a trio of tasteless little fuckers, SpermBloodShit revived this urban legend and wrote a song about it.

The song “Gianni Morandi : The Italian Coprophagist” kicks off with a sample from South Park, where Cartman has driven the Super Nanny to coprophagia herself (that’s a much more polite term than shit eating, don’t you think?), and then the noise begins. Starting with a nice death metal riff and shouted hardcore vocals (“Gianni Morandi!”), it takes a minute or so for the grind elements to kick in. When they do, it’s a full on maelstrom of pig squeal vocals and blast beats.

Second track “Eau De Sperm” also starts with a South Park sample, this time Randy Marsh jacking off to various styles of internet porn, including Brazilian fart porn, so don’t expect a love song. It follows the same basic formula as the first track- hardcore vocals at first, then grindcore blasting with a single simple but solid riff tying it all together.

This three track EP winds up with a more than respectable cover of Macabre’s “Dr. Holmes (He Stripped Their Bones)”, done a bit heavier than the version from the classic “Gloom” album, but then again, it was originally recorded in 1989. SpermBloodShit’s brand of grindcore is reasonably easy to listen to, remembering of course, it is still grindcore, and has distinct riffs and clean-ish production, like early Brutal Truth. There’s nothing stunning or groundbreaking to be found here, but it does raise a smile with its wicked sense of humour.

The band self-released this three track, seven minute EP as a taster… um, a preview to their 2013 album “The Tourette’s Syndrome”. If it’s any consolation to Gianni, the band put him on the cover (eyes covered, and only a few spots of shit on his face) and dedicated this EP to him. Other Italian pop stars will be envious.