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50 Ways To Annoy A Metalhead |
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micky ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 25 Mar 2010 Status: Offline Points: 378 |
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hahahha.. that's hard-core ![]() |
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Beekeeper ![]() Forum Newbie ![]() Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Location: Perth, WA Status: Offline Points: 28 |
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nu-metal actually =/ |
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micky ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 25 Mar 2010 Status: Offline Points: 378 |
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emo??? ![]() |
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FusionKing ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 28 Mar 2010 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 327 |
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OK, here goes...
1. Rant on at the metalhead about how smart and tidy he/she would look if his or her hair (the very lifeforce of the metal jedi) were to be cut.
2. Mistakenly call him or her an emo, worse if shouted from across a busy street.
3. Refer to all metal (or worse, all ROCK) as 'that screaming crap'
4. Go on about metal being 'simple' to an Iron Maiden or Megadeth worshipper.
5. Turn up at the local rock night each weekend even though you barely know who Led Zeppelin are, dislike AC/DC and were amazed to find that Ace Of Spades is actually a Motorhead song.
6. Dress like a goth, (if you want to add extra annoyance) while knowing nothing of rock, opposed to the superior knowledge of the metalhead, then get off with the guy or girl that the metalhead fancies at the end of the night.
7. When you're buying the round, get your metalhead friend a little, trendy alcopop instead of a good, strong beer or Jack Daniel's.
8. Complain about Slayer not knowing how to do any 'nice songs'.
9. Brag about all the gigs and rock clubs you've been to, yet you're not even into music as such. (To worsen impact, try to sound as if you know what you're on about)
10. Go on about Nu-Metal as if it is the best thing since beer, masturbation, chocolate and an unexpected day off work all put together.
11. Assume that because he or she is a metalhead that it is mandatory for them to like, if not love all of the bollocks on Kerrang and Scuzz.
12. Assume that liking some of The Black Album makes you a metalhead too.
13. Assume that rock and metal is all just about sex and sex appeal (like pop is)...the hawk-like eyes of the metalhead will see that you are a poser in thier territory...
14. Irrevocably damage the leathers of the metalhead. (By doing this, you are not simply wrecking the metalhead's look...but his home for the last 6 years since he or she first put them on)
15. Steal the metalhead's motorbike/trike. WARNING: You could get killed for this.
16. Burst the speakers on the metalhead's stereo, if the metalhead has not already done so on thier own...
17. Buy the metalhead a My Chemical Romance album for thier birthday or Christmas. (Birthday is worst, because then they can't repackage it to give to someone else, so it stays in thier home for a bit, shaming and poisoning the record collection that took years to build up to greatness)
18. Leave a cup of tea or coffee on the metalhead's irreplaceable copies of albums that they got signed by musicians who are now dead.
19. If he or she is a prog metal fan, rant to them about how keyboards debase metal completely and refer to it as 'non-metal'.
20. Come to every party that the metalhead holds but never, ever bring any booze.
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micky ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 25 Mar 2010 Status: Offline Points: 378 |
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hahhaha.... that deserves some clappies
here's some clappies I have laying around ![]() ![]() |
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Time Signature ![]() MMA Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: 04 Apr 2010 Location: Denmark Status: Offline Points: 7690 |
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Make yet another anti-metal clip on YouTube, packed with really bad arguments and sweeping generalizations.
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The Pessimist ![]() MMA Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: 07 Apr 2010 Location: Stratford, UK Status: Offline Points: 56 |
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I've got a couple:
1. Talk about Dream Theater 2. Say that Job For A Cowboy are brutal 3. Put his guitar in standard tuning 4. Say that the "singing" in Extreme Metal is sh*t |
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Stooge ![]() MMA Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator/Retired Admin Joined: 25 Mar 2010 Location: Whitby, ON, CAN Status: Offline Points: 5637 |
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I remember this list from way back. The fact that the term "w**ggers" is used dates it to around 2004 or so. It's just as true and funny as it was back when I first saw this.
In fact, way back when I first saw this list, I agreed about the Cannibal Corpse part ![]() |
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topofsm ![]() MMA Metal Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: 30 Mar 2010 Location: Hate state, USA Status: Offline Points: 689 |
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If a band does death growls, complain about the screaming. If a band does black metal screaming, refer it to growls. If the band does both, just complain that the band has no talent because nobody can sing. If there's singing in the music, just say it doesn't sound as good as the Jonas Brothers.
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Lost respect for these archives when I saw Creed added, among other bands. Not going to be foruming here anymore. You can keep my reviews if you want.
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FusionKing ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: 28 Mar 2010 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 327 |
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At the bar of the local rock club, wait until the metalhead buys a drink. Engage in light conversation wherein you will coax the metalhead to go and complain to the DJ about the lack of Slayer in his mix. As the metalhead does this thier back will be turned at which point you quietly swap thier Jack Daniels with a glass of pee. (If you don't want to be just as brutal as that, then just knock back the whiskey to yourself before the metalhead returns)
THEN...just wait...
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J-Man ![]() MMA Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: 25 Mar 2010 Location: Philadelphia,PA Status: Offline Points: 7032 |
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Saying "Britney Spears is extreme metal! Just look at this youtube video!"
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Check out my YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime
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MAVIIIVAM ![]() Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: 07 Apr 2010 Location: Lost Angeles Status: Offline Points: 486 |
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Okay,
51. or 21. depending on list: Put Rap/Hip-Hop or Top40 Commercials in-between Metal Vids on Headbangers Ball or VH1 Metal Mania! GOD I HATE THAT!!!!! ![]() ![]() "Very Good...............Even when they have Meshuggah on tell em' thats not Metal, ![]() ![]() . . . I dont get it Matt ![]() ![]() Edited by MAVIIIVAM - 19 Apr 2010 at 7:39pm |
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"If you're happy to be an Ant in the Sand Box, you're welcome to it!" -Forbidden
For Progressive Metal and Prog Rock, come visit, request songs and explore at PrOgulus.com |
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Phonebook Eater ![]() MMA Metal Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: 19 Apr 2010 Location: Italy Status: Offline Points: 500 |
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I probably did or say at least 30 things in this list that made my metalhead friend get pissed
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elder08 ![]() Forum Newbie ![]() ![]() Joined: 13 Apr 2010 Location: FL Status: Offline Points: 36 |
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jkjk
On KILL every song sounds the same lol
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I scrolled through the offended page and listened to cannibal corpse while masturbating.-elder08
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AtomicCrimsonRush ![]() MMA Metal Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: 21 May 2010 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 602 |
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Stalk metal forums and annoy people by posting your sig over and over thusly
LOL My metal head avatar is appropriate for this forum dont u think?
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() that has to be annoying |
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AtomicCrimsonRush ![]() MMA Metal Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: 21 May 2010 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 602 |
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It must be
nobody else is posting
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Bathoric95 ![]() Forum Newbie ![]() Joined: 07 Nov 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 11 |
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9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse
albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
I would know the difference if someone were to record over my Cannibal Corpse albums... As for another to annoy them off, mumble anything about Enslaved, or In Flames in the same sentence with "crap","shit", or "untalented" |
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"Who ever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool, or a coward. Who ever can not take care of himself without that law is both." Omerta.
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AtomicCrimsonRush ![]() MMA Metal Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: 21 May 2010 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 602 |
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Nice avatar
Is that you?
not often to meet a girl into extreme metal
My preference is Prog metal
anyway annoying things to annoy a metalhead.... young girls who hate metal and listen to Justin Bieber or Britney Spears.
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Any Colour You Like ![]() MMA Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: 25 Mar 2010 Status: Offline Points: 359 |
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Numbers 1 though to 50.
- Profess your love for metal, then add the prefix glam or nu to said metal. |
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spitf1r3 ![]() Forum Groupie ![]() ![]() Joined: 15 Dec 2010 Location: Bucharest Status: Offline Points: 61 |
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Tell them that black-metal vocals eat way to much ice-cream to sing like that.
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