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People's reaction after finding out you like metal

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Forum Name: Metal Music Lounge
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URL: http://www.MetalMusicArchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10874
Printed Date: 25 Oct 2021 at 8:51pm
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Topic: People's reaction after finding out you like metal
Posted By: TheHeavyMetalCat
Subject: People's reaction after finding out you like metal
Date Posted: 24 Mar 2016 at 7:01pm
I wasn't sure where to put this topic, so feel free to move it if need be.

I had an experience this evening (which I'll go into in a moment) that made me wonder what sort of reactions everyone else around here has had from people after they discover that you're a fan of metal. Not other metalheads but other people who don't know much about metal and even what they think they know is probably wrong. People like the 'public' as portrayed in this:



Now then personally speaking aside from wearing the odd bit of band merch I don't actively advertise that I like metal. I'm not one to try to push my opinion on unwilling ears, though I don't hide what I like if asked.

This evening I went out for some pre-Easter drinks with some uni friends before we all headed back home for the holiday period. Our break actually started on Monday, but some of us had stuck around to finish some group work. We ended up getting together with another group from the same uni (different course) who'd done the same. Topics varied but eventually came around to music. So at some point amongst the name drops of whoever's big right now in the pop world (I wasn't really paying much attention to be honest) I said I liked metal.

Conversation totally dead in the water, at least for a moment until one of the other group said: "You actually listen to all that goth shite?" which pissed me off more than it probably should have done. A couple of the girls in the other group were even s[^&%!]ing about it. I guess most if not all of my lot knew already so I didn't get any such reactions from them and I could tell that a few of them were actually just as pissed off as I was even though they didn't like metal themselves. The atmosphere between our two groups was pretty tense after that and we left soon after.

So there you have it, my liking metal turned what had previously been a pretty affable evening sour.



Replies:
Posted By: adg211288
Date Posted: 24 Mar 2016 at 7:23pm
I guess this would go best in the metal music lounge. 

It's an interesting topic by the way. I've never had anything happen to me quite as extreme as that though I do remember this one guy from college (we'll call him the rap guy since that's what he liked) whose reaction was more plain old confused than negative towards the genre. I was one of two metal fans in the class but at the time I was still very much discovering the genre so most of this debate was actually between these other two guys. 

The other metalhead had long hair (I didn't at the time) which he tied back which earned him the nickname Pone (as in ponytail) from the rap guy which he didn't like. It eventually got to him so much that he cut his hair. The rap guy's reaction to this was priceless as we all saw him visibly do a double take as he didn't even recognise the other metal guy at first. I can't help but feel that the metalhead cutting his hair was some sort of victory for the rap fan though. 


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Posted By: Unitron
Date Posted: 24 Mar 2016 at 7:39pm
I haven't had many negative responses when I tell someone I like metal, the only time I can think of was several years ago. One of my old childhood friends was into electronic music, and when I brought up metal he just dismissed it as "frikin' screamo". Eventually I was able to get him to realize that metal isn't screamo thankfully and at one point he actually liked Rammstien, don't know if he still does though as we don't really talk anymore. 

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Oh, so it's bring my own? Bring my own what? FUN?! - Ludichrist


Posted By: aglasshouse
Date Posted: 24 Mar 2016 at 9:11pm
"it's just not my cup of tea"


Posted By: Vim Fuego
Date Posted: 24 Mar 2016 at 11:24pm
I used to have the long hair, which sort of advertised the fact. Most of the ribbing I ever got/get was pretty good humoured, but I'm from New Zealand, which is pretty laid back.

I did have a New Life Christian tell me he could hear the "evil" in AC/DC's music back in the 80s. It was sooooo tempting to play him some Slayer! Conversely, when I was living in South Korea, two Korean girls asked me if I wanted to go to church with them. I politely declined their invitation. They didn't recognise the significance of the Morbid Angel t-shirt I was wearing, with the cover of Altars of Madness on the front and a verse from the song Blasphemy on the back...


Posted By: Nightfly
Date Posted: 25 Mar 2016 at 10:35am
Something I've come across quite a lot is that a lot of people don't even understand what metal is. Comments like "so do you like Meat Loaf then?" is typical. Not negative but just a total lack of understanding. When I have heard people slagging off metal it's usually done with a large amount of ignorance from people who don't know what they're talking about.


Posted By: TheHeavyMetalCat
Date Posted: 25 Mar 2016 at 11:15am
Originally posted by Unitron Unitron wrote:

I haven't had many negative responses when I tell someone I like metal, the only time I can think of was several years ago. One of my old childhood friends was into electronic music, and when I brought up metal he just dismissed it as "frikin' screamo". Eventually I was able to get him to realize that metal isn't screamo thankfully and at one point he actually liked Rammstien, don't know if he still does though as we don't really talk anymore.


I think calling metal screamo is probably the most ignorant thing a non-metalhead can do. That really makes my blood boil.


Posted By: Kingcrimsonprog
Date Posted: 25 Mar 2016 at 11:24am
I got nothing but grief for it in high school. Constant teasing, people shouting in the street from moving cars, people squaring up and starting fights, always having people talk shit behind my back. I even remember going up to a bar once and the non metal guy at the bar just looked pure hatred into my eyes and said 'get out of my face you're making me fucking sick.' 

That was a small, backwards town full of racists, homophobes and general idiots anyway though. 

In university it was just a bit more like, oh, well, I'll not be your friend but I won't actively be a dick about it. 

Nowadays as an adult, people just look at me like 'Why?' 

My stock answer is either 'Some people like horror films, if music was film, metal would be horror.' 
Or 'Not everyone can eat really spicy food, but that doesn't mean no-one can.' 

I generally don't bring it up. 

Recently, one of my co-workers noticed a motorhead pin on my backpack, and decided to throw the horns at me instead of greeting me for the next month or so, but not in a mean spirited way. 

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Posted By: Unitron
Date Posted: 25 Mar 2016 at 12:08pm
^That's awful, I can't comprehend why someone would go out of their way to do all that because of something as small as liking different music.

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Oh, so it's bring my own? Bring my own what? FUN?! - Ludichrist


Posted By: 666sharon666
Date Posted: 25 Mar 2016 at 2:12pm
I can recall some reactions that fit in well with this thread. Most of them centre on me being both female and a metalhead, which doesn't seem to be something many people can get to grips with. I think that perhaps being a girl did also mean I avoided some of the more hostile encounters you guys are describing though.

Anyway a couple of examples:

"But you're a girl!" - my then future stepmother. Very anti-metal. I've always been surprised that my Dad married her. I guess he must see something in her.

"You seem too feminine to be a metalhead" - guy I went to university with. Honestly this is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Of course what I always hated the most was when a guy tried to hit on me who obviously didn't know anything about metal but still tried to pretend he did in an effort to impress. Naturally it always had the opposite effect. Silly really as I did date guys who didn't like metal so long as they respected that I did. Pretending though, that really irritated me.

My favourite reaction though, from one of the women where I used to work:

"Oh, so you don't want to come see Take That with us then?"


Posted By: Vim Fuego
Date Posted: 25 Mar 2016 at 4:42pm
Originally posted by Kingcrimsonprog Kingcrimsonprog wrote:



That was a small, backwards town full of racists, homophobes and general idiots anyway though. 

 


The racists, homophobes and general idiots where I went to school were all in to Guns n Roses and AC/DC, so there was a little bit of common ground, although they all shaved or buzz cut their hair, so I used to get called gay for having long hair, a connection which I could never understand. Long hair has never been a common denominator in any of the homosexuals I've ever known.

Originally posted by Kingcrimsonprog Kingcrimsonprog wrote:



Nowadays as an adult, people just look at me like 'Why?' 

 


My mother still asks this, and thinks I'm going through a phase, which I'll grow out of. She's been asking since I was 15. I'm now 43.LOL She's nothing if not optimistic...

 
Originally posted by Kingcrimsonprog Kingcrimsonprog wrote:



Recently, one of my co-workers noticed a motorhead pin on my backpack, and decided to throw the horns at me instead of greeting me for the next month or so, but not in a mean spirited way. 


I started throwing the horns at one of the guys at work, and he used to do it back. He then taught a Japanese student working on the farm to do it too. She had no idea what it meant, but it looked funny.Smile


Posted By: adg211288
Date Posted: 26 Mar 2016 at 2:43am
Originally posted by Nightfly Nightfly wrote:

When I have heard people slagging off metal it's usually done with a large amount of ignorance from people who don't know what they're talking about.

I remember my early days discovering metal. YouTube was my major source for everything then but man were there so many ignorant idiots running amok. What always struck me is those trying to put down metal (it was nearly always rap fans) always seemed to think they knew more about it than the actual metalheads did. 

I actually just rediscovered one of the old channels that used to make these metal hate videos. Some grade A ignorance here, though you may find some comfort in the fact that it's obvious a kid made this: https://www.youtube.com/user/antimetalclub

I'm not saying that metalheads didn't do the exact same thing back but having witnessed this flame war first hand (and even attempted to play an intermediary role at one point though I don't seem to have my old video for that any more) I'm confident to say this: the metalheads didn't start it. 


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Posted By: voila_la_scorie
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 6:19am
The worst I've ever gotten is, "Oh yeah? Hm." I was a bit of an oddball in school because the "cool" kids always say on their ghetto blaster playing "Back in Black", "Shout at the Devil" or Led Zeppelin I while I wore Venom T-shirts and Celtic Frost pins. Later I got into seventies proto-metal and people just didn't seem to get me except my English teacher because he used to play in a Nazareth cover band.

Now I'm in Japan where metal still has a strong following and BURRN magazine. It's pretty cool. Ha! One of my former ESL students told me she partook in the riot at the Budokan when Deep Purple didn't do an encore. That was cool to know.

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A story told that can't be real somehow must reflect the truth we feel.


Posted By: UMUR
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 8:10am
Originally posted by 666sharon666 666sharon666 wrote:



"Oh, so you don't want to come see Take That with us then?"
 
Oh hell nooo DeadLOL


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Posted By: UMUR
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 8:15am
Well I used to attend a Catholic primary/secondary school and my German teacher who was a devout Catholic with loads of children (I think she had 5 or something like that), didn´t really feel comfortable that me and my Brother came to school wearing denim vests covered with Metallica, Slayer, and Motörhead marks. She would often speak of the "anti-christ" and other hilarious Things, but she could do nothing about it, and I don´t recall my parents ever being contacted. Later on people are always wondering why someone as mellow as me listens to metal, but I guess they often don´t know me that well Big smile. Apparently I appear mellow IRL LOL.

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Posted By: 666sharon666
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 9:27am
Originally posted by UMUR UMUR wrote:

Originally posted by 666sharon666 666sharon666 wrote:



"Oh, so you don't want to come see Take That with us then?"
Oh hell nooo DeadLOL


That was pretty much my reaction too, internally at least. I politely declined out loud.


Posted By: TheHeavyMetalCat
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 2:48pm
Originally posted by 666sharon666 666sharon666 wrote:

My favourite reaction though, from one of the women where I used to work:

"Oh, so you don't want to come see Take That with us then?"


You should have said yes so long as they all came with you to see Iron Maiden.


Posted By: Unitron
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 9:16pm
Originally posted by TheHeavyMetalCat TheHeavyMetalCat wrote:

Originally posted by Unitron Unitron wrote:

I haven't had many negative responses when I tell someone I like metal, the only time I can think of was several years ago. One of my old childhood friends was into electronic music, and when I brought up metal he just dismissed it as "frikin' screamo". Eventually I was able to get him to realize that metal isn't screamo thankfully and at one point he actually liked Rammstien, don't know if he still does though as we don't really talk anymore.


I think calling metal screamo is probably the most ignorant thing a non-metalhead can do. That really makes my blood boil.

Yeah, it is really irritating. I wasn't into music back then as much as I am now, so if someone said that to me now I'd probably explode. LOL


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Oh, so it's bring my own? Bring my own what? FUN?! - Ludichrist


Posted By: voila_la_scorie
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 11:31pm
I guess you could've also explained about all the subgenres of metal and explained how the gothic part can only be ascribed to a couple of categories. I mean there's so much to heavy metal these days you could offer it as a course at college.

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A story told that can't be real somehow must reflect the truth we feel.


Posted By: siLLy puPPy
Date Posted: 28 Mar 2016 at 12:00am
Personally i have never had a bad reaction when i tell people i like metal. I mean if they aren't familiar with the greater metal universe they automatically go to the default settings of Black Sabbath, Def Leppard and maybe Motley Crue not realizing that it has grown well beyond those popular days. I just don't go there unless asked and then they're impressed i know it as deeply as i do. Never a negative thing for me

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Posted By: Wyvern_13
Date Posted: 30 Mar 2016 at 9:22am
Ahahaha, Antimetalclub, I remember that. We had some discussions on that stuff on the old Haven youtube group. Can hardly believe its been so long.

Anyways, I usually dont get much of a reaction at all. Most of my wardrobe is band merch and I have long hair and a beard so my musical preference is really rather obvious to most people. I very occasionally get some comments (or shouts) from random strangers but they are usually drunk or something and I pay that stuff no mind. Most consistent reactions come from relatives in the form of "cut your hair/shave you beard" kinda comments but they are usually not in a negative tone so I'm mostly fine with it.


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Þessi undirskrift kemur málinu bara alls ekkert við!


Posted By: adg211288
Date Posted: 30 Mar 2016 at 9:28am
Originally posted by Wyvern_13 Wyvern_13 wrote:

Most consistent reactions come from relatives in the form of "cut your hair/shave you beard" kinda comments but they are usually not in a negative tone so I'm mostly fine with it.

I get those too. I don't usually have a beard but I did try one out late last year for a change. My Grandmother was horrified. 


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Posted By: Time Signature
Date Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 3:00pm
As some of you know, I work as an associate professor, which means that I teach a lot of classes and have had a lot of students in my time. I have long hair and a braid in my beard, and I wear band t-shirts when I teach, because that's my everyday apparel. I have never had any negative responses from my students. On the contrary, they think it's pretty cool that their teacher likes metal and appreciate that I don't look like your stereotypical professor. I think it makes me seem more like a regular dude and real person to them and not some ivory tower-dwelling egghead (in reality, I am an ivory tower-dwelling egghead ;-) ).

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Posted By: Alex
Date Posted: 21 Feb 2017 at 10:35am
I'm a builder by trade which often involves picking someone up to go to a job. It can be people I haven't known for long. I usually stick to fairly traditional stuff for the drive rather than 'inflict' something extreme like death metal on them (I'm too nice as I've had to suffer some dire stuff when its me getting picked up).

Usually people are simply surprised that I like metal. I guess I don't really fit the image most non-metal people think a metal fan looks like. I don't have long hair (did in my teens) and no tats or piercings. And I obviously don't wear my band shirts on a building site to advertise it either.


Posted By: Sisslith
Date Posted: 21 Feb 2017 at 3:19pm
I remember when I started listening to rock and hard rock music in my 12-13s (Kiss, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses...) that some of my classmates occasionally tried to tease me for that. I didn't care much about it and found it extremely stupid, so it didn't affected me at all.

After that I haven't really encountered annoying reactions from people. Since I listen to metal music at home almost every day (especially black/death metal), my family usually say things like: "Turn down that devilish music!"; "I don't know how you can study with that music" and so on, but they never say it in a mean way, just for fun LOL I'm looking forward to my mother's reaction when Slayer's Reign in Blood arrives home Big smile

My girlfriend is now accustomed to it, but when we started dating she couldn't understand why I listened to metal music and stuff, partly because I don't have the "usual" metalhead appearance. But I showed her some softer heavy metal songs (mostly ballads and instrumental tunes, which she liked) and told her "para gustos los colores" (something like one man's meat is another man's poison).

Fortunately, I have friends with similar tastes in music and, since I started university, I've met many people who like rock, punk, electronic and a wide range of different musical genres, so I've learned from them too.

However, what I've learned is that there are still a lot of prejudices against metal music. The ignorance speaks for itself when people simply relate heavy metal to satanism, freaks, emos or goths. Either it is ignorance or sheer idiocy. People should respect other people's musical tastes, as I suppose every one in this site does (for example, I hate reggaeton music and its branches, but I don't despise or look down on others for liking it).



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Without music, life would be a mistake.


Posted By: tapfret
Date Posted: 25 Apr 2017 at 9:48pm
As an inpatient RN time for small talk at work as minimal and music rarely becomes a subject. When it does I tend to speak in generalizations like, "I listen to music from all over the world that never get radio play". When specifics come up I get way more negative response about the AvantGarde and proggish stuff I listen too than the metal. Mostly its just blank expressions. Although one of the discussions with an older nurses about the 40th anniversary JT Stand Up Elevated edition caused her to bring in her 1969 first press vinyl with the pop-up center for show n tell. But as far as metal, their knowledge never exceeds Iron Maiden t-shirts and doing that thing that everyone does who thinks they are being funny by singing "I am Iron Man" to the tune of the verse riff, which never actually happens in the song. 

Outside of work, what I listen to is an open book. So no issues.


Posted By: Bosh66
Date Posted: 26 Apr 2017 at 11:30am
At work colleagues dismiss it as "Chris listens to that loud metal and punk shit" although some will proudly tell you that somewhere they have a Back in Black or Number of the Beast CD.


Posted By: keefer1970
Date Posted: 01 Jul 2017 at 6:38am
When I'm at work I get a lot of "You don't LOOK like a metal head." Well, duh. An Iron Maiden tee would be against the dress code. 

I also frequently hear "You still listen to that stuff? At your age?" (I'm 47)... yeah, sorry, I didn't get the memo that said I was supposed to start wearing sweaters and listening to Dave Matthews Band as soon as I hit 30 :D


Posted By: Vim Fuego
Date Posted: 01 Jul 2017 at 3:21pm
Originally posted by keefer1970 keefer1970 wrote:

When I'm at work I get a lot of "You don't LOOK like a metal head." Well, duh. An Iron Maiden tee would be against the dress code. 

I also frequently hear "You still listen to that stuff? At your age?" (I'm 47)... yeah, sorry, I didn't get the memo that said I was supposed to start wearing sweaters and listening to Dave Matthews Band as soon as I hit 30 :D


My mother is still waiting for me to grow out of it at the age of 44.Wink


Posted By: adg211288
Date Posted: 02 Jul 2017 at 10:00am
My parents aren't waiting for me to grow out of it but my mother at least is still waiting for the day when I decide that I own enough CD's and will never buy any more music. 

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Posted By: keefer1970
Date Posted: 02 Jul 2017 at 4:42pm
Originally posted by adg211288 adg211288 wrote:

my mother at least is still waiting for the day when I decide that I own enough CD's and will never buy any more music. 

That sounds like my wife!! :D

Every time I come thru the door with some new CDs in my hand she kinda rolls her eyes like "Oh good Lord..." Haha


Posted By: Iwan Ruby
Date Posted: 06 Aug 2021 at 11:24am
no one really cares when someone finds out i like metal!
it's just that they ask more often "do metal people really have to always wear black shirts?"


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Posted By: BitterJalapeno
Date Posted: 06 Aug 2021 at 1:06pm
I work in the office of a traffic management company where the absurdly poor radio is played constantly. Sometimes, I have to go to meetings with colleagues and we'll jump in my car where they're met with full blast Gorguts. They protest telling me the classic lines "its just noise" and "you can't make out the words" to which I just tell them they're not listening properly 😉

The heaviest thing any of them like is Boston.

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I have sinned beyond repentance


Posted By: Bosh66
Date Posted: 06 Aug 2021 at 3:22pm
When folk are trying to be engaging (rather than insulting) I usually get questions like, "So you like Iron Maiden?" or make statements like, "I have Back In Black on vinyl up in the attic - great album".



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