TEXAS TOAST CHAINSAW MASSACRE — 'Til Death Do Us Party (review)

TEXAS TOAST CHAINSAW MASSACRE — 'Til Death Do Us Party album cover

Album · 2015 · Thrash Metal

3.5/5 · 2015-11-22
Vim Fuego

These days, you can’t dive into a mosh pit without flattening a fan of Municipal Waste, Toxic Holocaust, Gama Bomb, Bonded By Blood, Goatwhore, Skeletonwitch or any number of bands who were far too young to remember thrash’s 1980s golden days. While many old-school fans complain about these kids, these are the bands keeping metal alive, and reasonably true to the spirit of the 80s, and not drowning the music in a deluge of metalcore mush. Add up-and-coming Illinois band Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre to that list.

Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre formed in 2011, and have forged a strong local fan base by following the blueprint set out by Municipal Waste. Digest a few old D.R.I. and Suicidal Tendencies albums, throw about some popular culture references, come up with some parody song titles, stick in a few old movie samples, and blast out short, sharp shocks of songs, and hey, presto! A debut album!

If you’re looking for originality, you’ve come to the wrong place. If you want good old headbanging fun, by a band with a silly name playing short, funny songs, you could do far worse than this.

Opening song “Welcome To Die” has definite echoes of Nuclear Assault, especially the bass twanging away like a tweaked-up Dan Lilker, and from there the band hit all the usual reference points for this style of music- songs about beer, fast food, and silly song titles, like “Alien Vs Predator Vs Brown Vs The Board Of Education”. “Yeezus Saves” takes a stab at Kanye West and his self-deification. There are samples from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on “Secrets Of The Booze”, and the closing riff even parodies the Turtles theme tune. “Post Vegetarian Grindcore” is a sub-half minute blast of grind silliness, and is followed by “KISS: America’s Band”, a 52 second song about nuclear disarmament and the effects of global warming, and the plight of the orang-utan in the disappearing rainforests of Borneo… No, of course it’s not! It’s about KISS!

Vocalist Macho Frost er… Josh Kandich could teach many other vocalists in this genre a thing or two. He’s got the Kurt Brecht (D.R.I.) sneer down perfectly, as many others do, but loses no clarity when singing fast, and proves he can sing in tune or hit a death metal growl when necessary. The rest of the band are pretty damn good too. The riffs are crisp and bouncy, the rhythm section tight, and these guys seem to have got a decent producer to bring out the bite in their music.

It seems like no bastard is listening to these boys because they are unsigned, but instead of letting that bother them, Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre have just got on and self-released this album, two EPs, a single and a split. This is pretty short, as far as albums go, but do yourself, and these guys, a favour and check ‘em out. Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre might not be destined for world domination, but they are having a fucking good time doing what they do, which is what music is all about.