SHIT WIZARD — Semonic Death Brew Chugfuxion Sewer Beeritual of Doomhell​.​.​. (review)

SHIT WIZARD — Semonic Death Brew Chugfuxion Sewer Beeritual of Doomhell​.​.​. album cover Demo · 2012 · War Metal Buy this album from MMA partners
1/5 ·
siLLy puPPy
SHIT WIZARD! A band name that just rolls off the tongue like a dog turd that Divine just ate in a 70s hi camp film. This band originated in San Clemente, CA in 2006 and adopted one of those DIY lo-fi approaches. Consisting of drummer / vocalist Shaytanic and vocalist / guitarist / bassist Shit Wizard, this duo has summoned four spawns from hell in the form of two EPs and two albums but all are classified as demos to evoke that garage band approach.

SEMONIC DEATH BREW CHUGFUXION SEWER BEERITUAL OF DOOMHELL… came out the same year as “Shit Metal” in 2012 and i’m not entirely sure which is considered the debut but when music is this shitty, i don’t really care to investigate that deeply. SHIT WIZARD music is basically a hybrid of war metal aesthetics and thrash metal riffing. While pretending to fit into the same leagues of war metal bands like Blasphemy, Teitanblood, Archgoat and other death / black metal hybrids, SHIT WIZARD is basically a one-trick pony.

As evidenced by the ridiculous release title, this project relies on ridiculous and irony to get your attention but in the end has no talent to actually entertain you. With track titles like “Goat Anus,” “Satan’s Pussy,” “Vomit Possessed” and “Communion of Cum,” you’d expect this to be some kind of parody metal but the listening experience is more painful than hilarious. With ten tracks that race past the 14 minute mark, these cookie cutter sewage bombs all reek of sheer stupidity.

These guys have no talent basically. Simple thrash metal riffs and uninspired drumbeats are recorded in as lo-fi production as is possible. Vocals are grunts and echoey screams from beyond the din. The longest tracks are just barely over two minutes long so they are mercifully short. This is just basically a band that uses silly titles to masquerade the pointless noise that it churns out. All i can say is don’t drop out of wizard’s school. This is what you become if you don’t learn how to cast proper spells. SHIT. At least there is truth in advertising for this one.
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