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50 Ways To Annoy A Metalhead

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Morningrise View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 Mar 2010 at 11:28pm
1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil. 
2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them. 
3. Hide their joint under their library card. 
4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot. 
5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who. 
6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway. 
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet. 
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening. 
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference. 
10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D. 
11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little. 
12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with. 
13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now (insert any mainstream band here), those guys have talent!" 
14. Say "What is vinyl?" 
15. Point out how homosexual Manowar is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more homosexual is Black Sabbath with Dio. 
16. Tell them it all sounds the same. 
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically. 
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison. 
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like (insert the newest overhyped fashionable loud-ish band from the radio) 
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing. 
21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe. 
22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band. 
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center. 
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch. 
25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique. 
26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder nutss all over John Arch. 
27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent. 
28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep. 
29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly. 
30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh. 
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street. 
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show. 
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds. 
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver. 
35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s. 
36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo. 
37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show. 
38. Call Doro fat. 
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling. 
40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being w**ggers. 
41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists. 
42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it. 
43 .Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years. 
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album. 
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass. 
46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff." 
47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them. 
48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit. 
49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like (insert any band at all here) 
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.
 
Can you come up with another ways??
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJCat_11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Mar 2010 at 11:38pm
Great list!  Clap

How about when your girlfriend says that Miley Cirus is a better singer than Rob Halford.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UMUR Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 7:09am
LOLI love it. Especially the one about Roadrunner Records. What a lossCry
 
Well I�m annoyed by people who get annoyed at me for participating in moshpits at metal concerts. So I guess a sentence like this would pretty much piss me off: "please stand still I�m trying to enjoy the music" It�s muscle, sweat and a little good friendly violence and people who don�t understand that part of ( well especially extreme metal cultures) just don�t belong at extreme metal shows. Go to the back and enjoy the music if you�re afraid to get hurt.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote angelmk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 8:24am
funny list, especialy 47.''Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them''.LOL. It happend to me on few occasions. Number 4 is realy annoying, yeah, very good way to piss off a metalhead indeed Big smile 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Balthamel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 8:44am
"8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening."

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xQdqBThnwnE/SQozSJcyldI/AAAAAAAAAm0/Ek9cwhFPVws/s400/gorgoroth01.jpg

^ like him the vocalist in Gorgoroth
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CCVP Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 8:48am
Originally posted by UMUR UMUR wrote:

LOLI love it. Especially the one about Roadrunner Records. What a lossCry
 
Well I�m annoyed by people who get annoyed at me for participating in moshpits at metal concerts. So I guess a sentence like this would pretty much piss me off: "please stand still I�m trying to enjoy the music" It�s muscle, sweat and a little good friendly violence and people who don�t understand that part of ( well especially extreme metal cultures) just don�t belong at extreme metal shows. Go to the back and enjoy the music if you�re afraid to get hurt.
 
Jonas, there are mosh pits and MOSH PITS. When I went to see Sepultura last year when they played in my town, they played in a big school stadium. The show was quite big (Mindflow and Angra played before them) and there were different kind of people in different parts of the show. During the presentation of the first two bands I was able to see them play quite confortably right in front of the stage. Predicting something would go on, right after they started to play I moved to the bleachers. Not much after that, the whole floor of the stadium became a huge mosh pit. Over a thousand people moshing through the whole 2 hours.
 
Not that I don't like them, it's just that big ones scare me do death LOL .
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CCVP Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 9:12am
51 - Miley Cyrus writes better metal lyrics that every metal band ever
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The T 666 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 12:34pm
Originally posted by NJCat_11 NJCat_11 wrote:

Great list!  Clap

How about when your girlfriend says that Miley Cirus is a better singer than Rob Halford.
 
Isn't she? Stern Smile She was a mentor in American idol... When has Halford been a mentor for anybody??? Angry
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJCat_11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 12:39pm
Originally posted by The T 666 The T 666 wrote:

Originally posted by NJCat_11 NJCat_11 wrote:

Great list!  Clap

How about when your girlfriend says that Miley Cirus is a better singer than Rob Halford.
When has Halford been a mentor for anybody??? Angry
 
Tongue


Only for about 35 years in every country around the world!  LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Matt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2010 at 1:55pm
Very Good...............Even when they have Meshuggah on tell em' thats not Metal,Wink What them take the baitLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DeathOfSeasons Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Apr 2010 at 6:46am
The one thing that annoys me the most is when people call Metal music Screamo because of harsh vocals. Really, do Shade Empire sound like frickin' Shikari to you? Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Raff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Apr 2010 at 7:02am
Now that we have opened the legendary Just for Fun section, I think this thread will sit even better thereWink.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MovingPictures07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Apr 2010 at 8:43am
Originally posted by UMUR UMUR wrote:

LOLI love it. Especially the one about Roadrunner Records. What a lossCry
 
Well I�m annoyed by people who get annoyed at me for participating in moshpits at metal concerts. So I guess a sentence like this would pretty much piss me off: "please stand still I�m trying to enjoy the music" It�s muscle, sweat and a little good friendly violence and people who don�t understand that part of ( well especially extreme metal cultures) just don�t belong at extreme metal shows. Go to the back and enjoy the music if you�re afraid to get hurt.


It's funny you think that, because I lost part of my enjoyment at an Opeth concert because people were moshing. I absolutely can't stand it. You're supposed to go to a concert to enjoy the live experience (the focus being the music), not beat the sh*t out of other people.

I feel just as strongly about it, only in the opposite direction. Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote topofsm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Apr 2010 at 12:06pm
Originally posted by DeathOfSeasons DeathOfSeasons wrote:

The one thing that annoys me the most is when people call Metal music Screamo because of harsh vocals. Really, do Shade Empire sound like frickin' Shikari to you? Wink
 
That pisses me off too. It really sucks when you have to explain it to people that it's metal, not screamo. Sometimes the bands aren't even screaming, they're probably doing more of a death growl.
 
The opposite also pisses me off, when screamo bands are called metal Wink
Lost respect for these archives when I saw Creed added, among other bands. Not going to be foruming here anymore. You can keep my reviews if you want.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote micky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 7:41am
hahhaah... great list Clap
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Flag Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 9:37am
1 thru 50 ... jethro tull
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote micky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 11:18am
Originally posted by Black Flag Black Flag wrote:

1 thru 50 ... jethro tull


haha.. yeah...

51. Remind a metalhead that Jethro Tull a Grammy over Metallica... not in the 'most pretentious' category.. but metal performance LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Metalbaswee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 11:24am
52. When people tell you to go and cut yourself like some sort of emo kid.

Metal =/= Emo.

Emo's are looking for attention most of the times (Atleast the ones on my school) Headbanging metalheads are always having fun and are some of the most accepting people in the world imo.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PROGMAN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2010 at 11:40am
True quotations from some other parents I knew, Not mine BTWStern Smile:

"I feel like I'm on drugs after that" (refering to Nirvana's "You Know you're Right") WackoClown
"Ahhh that's nice track, is is called Silence?" (after the song finishes) LOL

Turns out they hate heavy metal, Nirvana heavy metal??  They think so anyway LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beekeeper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Apr 2010 at 11:40pm
My ex-girlfriend told me that Nile sounded 'just like slipknot' when I was driving her to work the other day. Hence ex-girlfriend =P.

I'm not really one to get annoyed about much musically but this was one rare exception.
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