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The Dumbest Concept Album Stories

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adg211288 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 1:34am
Inspired by Patrick's review of "Them" by King Diamond, what's the dumbest concept album story you've heard out of a metal album?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UMUR Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 1:53am
Well the Whole Rhapsody of Fire story is silly fantasy style lyrics to my ears, and I just concentrate on the music when listening to it. I never enjoyed that type of cheesy fantasy lyrics. And don´t get me wrong I adore fantasy, but predominalty the darker and more raw stories. The same with sci-fi. Examples of great concept fantasy/sci-fi albums could be Crimson by Edge of Sanity and The Towers of Avarice by Zero Hour.
 
...oh yeah and the Whole Christian element of Keeper of the Seven Keys by Helloween also gives me nausea, but that´s just me not being too keen on lyrics praising the lord (unless of course you´re Saviour Machine, who are allowed, and who should please very, very soon praise him Again. It´s been so looooongg, and I want the ending to the Legend story). There is a childish description in the Keeper story of how Satan is beaten that makes me cringe every time I hear it. It´s too bad because both albums in the instalment are quite brilliant otherwise...
 
...Cage have actually made som similar themed albums, and although they also praise God and make stories of how Satan is defeated, I think I like them a Little better.
 
Regarding Them by King Diamond, I guess it helps that I was just 12 years old when I loaned the vinyl on my local library, and it scared the shit out of me. I didn´t find it at all cheesy and although with age you do begin to see the faults of some of the Things you enjoyed as a youngster there is also a certain nostalgic feeling that only albums like that can give you, that provides them with some sort of quality stamp (for you personally, maybe not for others).


Edited by UMUR - 18 Apr 2020 at 2:06am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote adg211288 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 2:44am
The one that most comes to mind to me is Ziltoid the Omniscient: an alien comes to Earth in search of the ultimate cup of coffee. After declaring it fetid, he attacks. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UMUR Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 2:52am
Originally posted by adg211288 adg211288 wrote:

The one that most comes to mind to me is Ziltoid the Omniscient: an alien comes to Earth in search of the ultimate cup of coffee. After declaring it fetid, he attacks. 
Yeah but that one is purposedly stupid LOL, I don´t think that Counts Tongue.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote adg211288 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 3:05am
True but it's absurd enough that it deserves a mention, at least while I'm trying to remember what actually is a concept album and what isn't. LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bosh66 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 4:26am
Working outside so haven’t got the time to give you the rundown, but try Magica by Dio. Basically LoTR for pre-schoolers. All delivered as goodies versus baddies in the world of Magica, complete with narrative by Dio.. Dio can sing and his band can play but always found it a bit cringey . Perhaps it’s just me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UMUR Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 5:01am
^It´s not just you Cool
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LittleBig Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 5:08am
Originally posted by adg211288 adg211288 wrote:

Inspired by Patrick's review of "Them" by King Diamond, what's the dumbest concept album story you've heard out of a metal album?

King Diamond's concepts are not meant to be taken that seriously, they're tongue in cheek. What do some expect - E. A. Poe level stories?!


Edited by LittleBig - 18 Apr 2020 at 9:50am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote siLLy puPPy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 9:40am
Many concepts are intentionally hilarious and designed to be comedic and others seem to be designed like dreams and are encoded so that it isn't readily apparent what the hell they're talking about. Some are silly for sure like the Rhapsody album but i'm much more about the music and don't really care about most ridiculous concepts. There are a few albums like Operation Mindcrime thought that are perfect in every way.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Unitron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 11:35am
The Astonishing is an obvious choice, basically Disney metal.

I don't often pay attention to the stories much of the concept albums I do listen to, as I just come for the music, but one that does come to mind is Eloy's Power and the Passion. I love this album, but the 'story' from what I've gathered is so stupid.

Basically, this guy meets some woman who took time-travelling drugs to come from France in 1358 to the present day (1975 when the album came out). They then smoke some weed and fall in love, they go back to her time and their fathers don't approve. The guy has to get back to his time, but is stuck and needs to seek 'The Zany Magician' to be able to get back. He does, and gets back to his time and tells his friends at the disco where he's been.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vim Fuego Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 1:57pm
Originally posted by LittleBig LittleBig wrote:

Originally posted by adg211288 adg211288 wrote:

Inspired by Patrick's review of "Them" by King Diamond, what's the dumbest concept album story you've heard out of a metal album?

King Diamond's concepts are not meant to be taken that seriously, they're tongue in cheek. What do some expect - E. A. Poe level stories?!


Something which didn't make my eyes roll so far that I was looking back inside my head.Tongue

I can't think of a huge lot of metal concept albums, even though I inspired this. I may listen to "Conspiracy" today.Wink

I've heard a lot of criticism aimed at Iron Maiden over the years for Seventh Son..., but I always thought it was reasonably good.

I'd never picked up that the Helloween Keys albums were concept albums.Embarrassed

Voivod seem to have had a concept career, Queensryche and W.A.S.P. have produced a couple of well received ones (and not so well received with Operation: Mindcrime II), and Macabre's Dahmer album is one of my all time favourite death metal albums. Candlemass' Tales of Creation seems pretty good too.

The worst of the lot though? Music from "The Elder" by KISS. Just simply horrible.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LittleBig Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2020 at 2:08pm
^ I like the Elder, I would not call the story dumb though, maybe cheesy, but not dumb. I also think it's a good album. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 666sharon666 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2020 at 12:20pm
While obviously falling into the intentionally stupid category - anything by Gloryhammer. 
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