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The 50 Worst Metal Songs Of All Time (long)
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    Posted: 28 Aug 2015 at 12:54pm
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Originally posted by siLLy puPPy siLLy puPPy wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

Originally posted by siLLy puPPy siLLy puPPy wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.


Yeah, if you went glam the whole list woulda been Bon Jovi, Poison, Warrant, Skid Row, Trixter etc


Yeah, too easy.LOL


Unskinny Bop by Poison has to be one of the absolute lamest songs I've EVER heard but you're right, waaaaay too easy

If this was my list, and I included glam, 90% of it would probably be Bon Jovi. They're probably the cheesiest of the cheese.


Edited by Unitron - 28 Aug 2015 at 12:10pm
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Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

Originally posted by siLLy puPPy siLLy puPPy wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.


Yeah, if you went glam the whole list woulda been Bon Jovi, Poison, Warrant, Skid Row, Trixter etc


Yeah, too easy.LOL


Unskinny Bop by Poison has to be one of the absolute lamest songs I've EVER heard but you're right, waaaaay too easy
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Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

Originally posted by LittleBig LittleBig wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Forever Free is a great song, what's wrong with it that you find it "bad"?

I like Forever Free a lot, but you've gotta admit it's over-endowed in the fromage department. I picked on WASP rather than something truly lame like Extreme or Winger because WASP at least has a bit of metal credibility. If you didn't know what the band looked like, some of their stuff wouldn't be called glam.

I've had my share of hair metal some years ago and I still like a few bands and for instance Extreme is definitely one of the good ones. As for Winger, their first couple of albums are cheesy and uneven and they deserve all the mocking for that terrible cover of Hendrix - Purple Haze. Other than that, they are more than ok with me. 

I don't consider WASP as glam metal/hair metal. Most of the bands that are called like that were just hard rock anyway but that's another story...
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Originally posted by LittleBig LittleBig wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Forever Free is a great song, what's wrong with it that you find it "bad"?

I like Forever Free a lot, but you've gotta admit it's over-endowed in the fromage department. I picked on WASP rather than something truly lame like Extreme or Winger because WASP at least has a bit of metal credibility. If you didn't know what the band looked like, some of their stuff wouldn't be called glam.
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Originally posted by UMUR UMUR wrote:

Originally posted by LittleBig LittleBig wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Forever Free is a great song, what's wrong with it that you find it "bad"?
 
He did write a pretty good explanation to why he Thinks it´s "bad":
 
"The power ballad to end all power ballads. Blackie Lawless’ missus died a painful and lingering death and told him to be a man for once in his fucking life and stop blubbing about it, so he writes a weepy song instead. And of course, he sooks it up, even after she told him not to. The transitions between power and ballad are hamfisted and clumsy, and the lyrics schlocky and lame. In other words, a typical W.A.S.P. song."

oh, my bad.

well then, I've seen worse lyrics than that, and to me the song flows quite nicely. 
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Originally posted by LittleBig LittleBig wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Forever Free is a great song, what's wrong with it that you find it "bad"?
 
He did write a pretty good explanation to why he Thinks it´s "bad":
 
"The power ballad to end all power ballads. Blackie Lawless’ missus died a painful and lingering death and told him to be a man for once in his fucking life and stop blubbing about it, so he writes a weepy song instead. And of course, he sooks it up, even after she told him not to. The transitions between power and ballad are hamfisted and clumsy, and the lyrics schlocky and lame. In other words, a typical W.A.S.P. song."
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Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Forever Free is a great song, what's wrong with it that you find it "bad"?
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Originally posted by siLLy puPPy siLLy puPPy wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Yeah, if you went glam the whole list woulda been Bon Jovi, Poison, Warrant, Skid Row, Trixter etc

Yeah, too easy.LOL
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Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.

Yeah, if you went glam the whole list woulda been Bon Jovi, Poison, Warrant, Skid Row, Trixter etc
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Originally posted by LittleBig LittleBig wrote:

If there was a Maiden song I'd consider as bad it's (obviously) The Angel & the Gambler. What was Steve Harris thinking, I don't know. Had that song been like 4 minutes long, it would have worked nicely. 

I didn't have Virtual XI when I wrote this originally, but I quite like The Angel and The Gambler. I would have substituted Fear Is The Key.
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If there was a Maiden song I'd consider as bad it's (obviously) The Angel & the Gambler. What was Steve Harris thinking, I don't know. Had that song been like 4 minutes long, it would have worked nicely. 
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Apparently I buggered up the meaning behind Weekend Warriors. It's about football hooligans.
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Originally posted by adg211288 adg211288 wrote:

Helloween have done far worse songs than Heavy Metal Hamsters, though if you wrote this some time ago they may have been released afterwards. They're both from Straight Out of Hell. Those songs being Wanna Be God and Asshole. One is a poor Queen tribute/imitation (of We Will Rock You's style). The other just sounds totally immature. Heavy Metal Hamsters I prefer to think of as quirky. 

I completely agree, Straight Out of Hell was a disappointment after the surprisingly good 7 Sinners album. The only problem with Pink Bibbles Go Ape was (to me at least) that it came after the excellent Keeper II which was obviously far superior. LOL

I like a few songs from that list, I like that Annihilator song and I've always liked Iron Maiden's Weekend warrior. Embarrassed

Dream Theater's 6 Degrees... is my least favorite epic of theirs, not bad but not impressive either. 
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I avoided glam metal as much as possible. WASP is the only really glam thing on here.
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^^I guess Terrorizer doesn't know how to have some fun.

Originally posted by siLLy puPPy siLLy puPPy wrote:

Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

To be honest, I love quite a few of these songs too, but it doesn't mean they're not bad songs.

Ok. I admit i love some bad songs myself. In fact i love LOTS of bad music in general, but WTF, i just don't give a flying fuckeroonie

I like some really dumb songs myself, such as Korn's 'Shoots and Ladders'. Come on, it's a metal song about nursery rhymes, you can't get much dumber then that. However, I can't help but enjoy it. LOL

Oh, and let's not forget all those glam metal lyrics. Tongue
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Originally posted by Vic Vic wrote:

Very enjoyable read, even if I disagree vehemently on quite a few counts. For example, I found 31 Flavors an actual eye-opener and always enjoyed how it managed to piss off tough, macho metalheads. Buried Alive is one of my favorite Venom songs and one I used to cover with my band where were kids. Jugulator is just awesome. So is Welcome to Dying, Walk and OF COURSE Forever Free by WASP and Thrashard, which is one of DRI's best songs ever and I feel sorry for any soul who doesn't get that.

Above all, I will defende Dawn Patrol to death for two major reasons:
1. It serves as a fucking excellent intro to Rust in Peace...Polaris, contributes to the overall dynamics of the album and is an excellent mood setter.
2. It's 100% classic Mustaine, dripping attitude, character, sarcasm and just plain coolness. He is among my top 5 metal performers, in his good days of course - and it doesn't get any better than RiP.

But I will say an extra big congratulations for Battery and S&M in general. What a fucking shitty album that was. If Lulu was a failed experiment then S&M was the most failed experiment in their history. Out of the whole thing, about 5 songs were rendered interestingly to justify the whole idea and of course Battery wasn't one of them.



If you like my point on S&M, try this:

I like the bass line in Dawn Patrol though.
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Originally posted by adg211288 adg211288 wrote:

Helloween have done far worse songs than Heavy Metal Hamsters, though if you wrote this some time ago they may have been released afterwards. They're both from Straight Out of Hell. Those songs being Wanna Be God and Asshole. One is a poor Queen tribute/imitation (of We Will Rock You's style). The other just sounds totally immature. Heavy Metal Hamsters I prefer to think of as quirky. 

Yeah, I wrote it in 2004-2005 some time. I haven't heard Straight Out Of Hell.

I'm glad you guys have taken this in the spirit it was written. I posted it over at the Terrorizer forum and it caused an unholy shitstorm!Confused One of the writers, Chris Chantler, took it to heart and severely critiqued my writing style... As if I'd care what a magazine hack thinks. I used to be a reporter for a daily paper, so I know I can write.Smile
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Originally posted by Vim Fuego Vim Fuego wrote:

To be honest, I love quite a few of these songs too, but it doesn't mean they're not bad songs.

Ok. I admit i love some bad songs myself. In fact i love LOTS of bad music in general, but WTF, i just don't give a flying fuckeroonie
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Helloween have done far worse songs than Heavy Metal Hamsters, though if you wrote this some time ago they may have been released afterwards. They're both from Straight Out of Hell. Those songs being Wanna Be God and Asshole. One is a poor Queen tribute/imitation (of We Will Rock You's style). The other just sounds totally immature. Heavy Metal Hamsters I prefer to think of as quirky. 
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